Short Vlog: We Went To IKEA

Wanted to remember this day as I strongly believe that memories with family are precious and a top priority for me. Would have typed it out but since I was already on camera earlier, thought I might as well give a life update via a short video.

There has been a major change/makeover in the company I am working for and to be brutally honest, I fucking hate it. There was a lot of inconsideration involved and it’s very upsetting, to me at least.

So yeah, maybe that’s why I value family time much more than I usually do these days – I really need the distraction.

A Day At The Beach

A day well spent with my sister and nephew. Hope to capture more moments like this 💗

Being Siblings

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I Smile, You Smile

I (really, really, REALLY x100) hope that she gets a call too. I should be excited and all but all I am doing deep down in my heart is only hoping/praying/begging that we can be in this together.

When We Are Together

I have two younger sisters who are like my little vitamins – they give me motivation and energy for anything. The younger one is commonly known as Rayla while the youngest one is nicknamed Rain.

Rayla is the one I am most close with because of our small age difference. Despite being two years younger than me, she acts more like a big sister in the family. We are always seen out together be it dolled up or in our mismatched pajamas.

Rain and I, on the other hand, are seven years apart. We argue and fight with each other the most but still somehow manage to be the bestest of friends when I am in a good mood. She is very mature at accepting criticisms and a very loyal person.

Whenever we hang out together, it feels like no one can ever touch us. We laugh at almost anything (we have tons of inside jokes) and instinctively watch each other’s back. We are like a team.

A big thanks to the both of them for tolerating my nonsense and for being such kind-hearted human beings. I LOVE YOU TWO!

(Photo taken via Rayla’s instagram account)

Inpromptu Modeling

Walked by a beautiful, breathtaking scenery with my mom and sisters when all of a sudden Mom went, “hey, take a picture of me”. It was one of those girly sides of my mom that surprises me for five seconds before smiling.

We were under the hot sun by the way (and yes, I was wearing a sweater and looked like an idiot). I do have photos of her alone but they are currently only for my mom to view to admire the background. So yeah, as I slowly began to sweat more, I made myself pose randomly while Mom stuck with one pose for a long time.

(Photo credit goes to my younger sister, Rayla, using Samsung Galaxy 4S)

The following photos are taken candidly of Rayla while she was taking selfies. She is quite the model is she not?

CLARA (Part Two)

I knock on the door before allowing myself to enter her room.

(Me): It’s already this late and you’re still reading?
Clara: So there’s more than one reason why we never visited Aunt Xaria after all.

I can feel my expression changing. I never liked talking about my family, not even to my own mother.

(Me): What are you talking about?
Clara: I found this while I was hanging your clothes in your cupboard.

She shows me an old, worn-out book I got for my 14th birthday.

(Me): My diary!

I snatch the book from her, making her flinch a little, and look through it as if it would help me.

(Me): How much have you read?
Clara: How Aunt Xaria stole money from you, from grandma, how she bribed Aunt Jade to keep quiet about the money, how your friends dumped you because they wanted to avoid your sister, how dad left because-
(Me): THAT’S ENOUGH CLARA!

I feel myself trembling from the strong mixed emotions. What do I do now? Is it still too early for her to know? Should I finally tell her everything?

Clara: No wonder most of your smiles seem so fake. It’s no wonder why you never liked talking about your past.

The tears are running now.

(Me): I’m sorry I… never told you. I didn’t want you to know. I wanted everything… to turn out well for you. I didn’t want you to know that you have bad… evil beings as your blood relatives. Clara, I’m…

My daughter hugs me while I sob my heart out. Mother and her are the only ones dear to me now. I have no one else to turn to for comfort, not even anyone at work.

Clara: Mama, I’m almost 14 now but when I grow older and have money, we’ll share the amount okay? With grandma too. I love you, Mama. I don’t want you to suffer anymore.

I kiss her forehead and hug her tightly in my arms. My little baby has grown up so much.

CLARA (Part One)

Clara: Mama, why do we never visit our relatives just like my friends and their families do?

I look down to my daughter and put my book away while she gets up from my lap to get a better look at me.

(Me): But sweety, we do visit them.
Clara: Only once in 1 to 2 years. You said you have two younger sisters.
(Me): Yes, I do.
Clara: Then why do we never visit Aunt Xaria? Does she have a kitty cat like Aunt Jade that I can play with? I love cats!
(Me): I know you do, sweety.

I pat on the bench beside me to let her know that I want her seated next to me, to which she obediently did. I then reach out to her hand and squeeze it softly.

Clara: Why doesn’t Aunt Xaria visits us, Mama? Is it because she doesn’t know where we live?
(Me): She’s just busy with her family, that’s all.
Clara: Can I have her number and call her then? I’d like to see her one day.
(Me): Not yet. Not now.
Clara: But why?

Just then, a hand on my shoulder surprised the heck out of me. Fortunately it was just my mother.

Beth: It’ll be dark out soon. Come, you two still have not had your lunch.
(Me): Clara, be a good girl and follow Granny inside. I’ll catch up to you two in a few.
Clara: Okay, Mama.
Beth: Don’t take too long.
(Me): I won’t. I promise.

I wait until the both of them are safely inside before I look up to the sky. Clara is only seven and she is already wondering about the empty gaps in her life. Mother said it is probably because she is starting to feel lonely, which worries me. A small voice in my head keeps telling me that maybe Clara would be so much happier if I find myself a new husband.

How long has it been since I last saw my younger sister? 7-8 years? Roughly there. Xaria was a petite, rude, egoistic young lady who wanted to start a public brawl with Jade when I last met her. If it wasn’t for our brother-in-law and her husband, she would have been the one to be sent to the hospital. Since then, she never contacted me again and even stopped visiting our mother.